Who's In Charge?

The oil spill finally came to our beach today. An oiled sea bird was found on the beach and a concerned beachgoer brought him into our boathouse this afternoon. He had a smear on his chest and his feet were covered with oil (the bird, not the beachgoer) so my friend Kerry and I found a saltwater taffy box and put the bird inside and closed the lid. I heard last night that just picking them up could make the wild critters go into shock and die. Then, I did what any concerned citizen would do: I picked up the phone to call someone to help the stricken bird.

On Friday, I had gotten a list of phone numbers from Marin County Hazardous Waste in case we had any incidents of the oil spill reaching our beach. Knowing we were going into a three day week-end, it would be hard to get in touch with authorities. They had given me three phone numbers to use. One was for "Reporting Oiled Wildlife". It rang and was answered by a number of different languages (press this number for that language, etc.). Finally, a young man answered and said he was in the San Francisco Information Office (whatever that is!). I told him I was sorry but I'd been given that number to report oiled wildlife. He said, yes! (quite cheerfully), indeed, he could take a report. I gave him the details and he thanked me. I stopped him and asked him if he was going to send somebody to pick up the bird to care for it. He said, Oh! I only take reports. Let me ask my supervisor. In a few minutes, he returned to say, No, we only take reports. My supervisor thinks you should put it back in the water.

That sounded sort of counter productive to me. Wouldn't that be like adding to the oil spill rather than cleaning it up? So I thanked him and called a number for Sonoma County Wildlife Rescue. I figured they could help. Their number was answered by a machine which helpfully gave me the number of the Sonoma County Injured Bird hotline. A real person answered! Now I was onto something! I carefully explained my predicament. The lady listened but said she couldn't help me because I was in Marin County, not Sonoma County. I would have to call Marin Wildlife Care. So I did. This lady was quite sympathetic but said they had no volunteers who would drive forty five miles out to pick up the bird, and besides, she wasn't real sure where Dillon Beach was in the first place. But she would give me a phone number of somebody who would help. I dialed it. And voila! It was the San Francisco Information Office again! A complete loop!

Over the course of the next hour, I called the Point Reyes National Seashore Bear Valley station which was accepting oiled birds but (sorry!) they would not pick up and I replied, well, sorry!, at $3.60 a gallon for gas I'm not driving it thirty miles down Highway One in the rain. And I called the local fire house who helpfully told me to scrub it down with DAWN dishwashing detergent, but no, they didn't want it either.

Finally a woman from some San Francisco Wildlife organization called me back. She sounded like she'd just had it! It'd been a Too Long Day for her already. She said this oil spill was bigger than Prince William Sound when the Exxon Valdez spilled its load. She said San Francisco Bay would be empty of boats for the next six months. She said I needed to let every beachgoer know NOT to handle any oil globs or oiled birds for it was extremely toxic and likely to cause problems for anybody with weakened immune systems. She recommended I put the bird back in the water and not let anybody pick up any more.

So, at five o'clock, I took the saltwater taffy box with the oiled bird in it and walked down under the dock. I opened the box and he stuck his head out. His little black shoe button eyes slitted at me in disgust. "Sorry, Buddy," I told him, tipping him out of the box onto the sand. "You're on your own. Good luck to you." He took a wobbly step back into the water and then sat down to rest.

He probably won't be the only dead oiled sea bird on our beach tomorrow. But I'm all out of ideas for how to help them. So much for relying on 'Authorities' to help you when there's a problem.